Nothing lasts forever
by elaize
Summary: She was a decent person never stepped outside the line until she came face to face with a harsh reality that turned her whole life upside down leaving her bitter and cold in it's wake. During her recuperation she makes a choice not knowing that it would only lead her to greater misery…I suck at summaries so READ to know n don't forget to REVIEW! Chapter 6 Updated!
1. The world crashes down

Hi guys this is my second story….I'll be using mostly the main characters that is Miyu and Kanata and my story line is completely different from the manga/anime…also please excuse me if my made up names don't sound Japanese enough because I am not from Japan (also I am lazy enough to not Google some Japanese names either)…please point out my mistakes...hope you guys will like the story…I do not own anything! Please read and remember to review!

 **Chapter 1**

 **World's crashing down so why am I not dead?**

She opened the main gate of her house and walked over to the front door. Lifting her right hand she knocked thrice before her mother's voice replied back _"wait up I'm coming"._

 _"Where's dad?"_ asked Miyu Kouzuki.

 _"Afternoon shift"_ sighing in an exhausting manner her mother going back to her daily routine of house cleaning. Miyu walked off to her room throwing her school bag on the table and fell onto her bed staring up at the ceiling. She knew what that sigh meant and she was already starting to dread the evening. Her father was usually a very nice and humble person when he was sober but he had has a tendency to turn very nasty when he was drunk. She didn't know what to expect when he'll be home which gave her a queasy feeling. She hurled herself off her bed and went to shower and change out of her school clothes.

 _"So dad's not home yet"_ asked Ruu her five years younger brother. She shook her head in no and went back to her book; she was reading the final instalment of harry potter series for probably the zillionth time. Done with the school homework she had nothing else to do and was getting bored when her phone buzzed.

'Can you come to my house like right now' read the text from her best friend Akira. Thinking hard for a moment what might happen if she was gone for long and her father got home meanwhile completely plastered, there'll be questions about what was she doing out so late in night, what was so important that couldn't wait for morning…she decided it was better to stay at home and avoid any unnecessary questions from her drunk father. Also she didn't want to be the reason for any further arguments between her parents which were nearly always a certainty whenever he came home drunk. 'Can't… sorry. See you at school tomorrow' she replied and went back to her book.

She woke up in the middle of the night and looked over to where her brother slept. He was sleeping peacefully all thanks to his habit of using ear plugs at night. She got up and sat with her back leaning on the wall and her right hand resting on the windowsill with her head resting in the palm of her hand staring up at the night sky full of stars and a bright almost full moon .

 _"I keep telling you not to drink so much. It's not good for health. Besides we don't even have enough money…we barely meet our needs. You know how it's like during the last week of every month. We've two kids to take care of then there's their education expenses, if we are not careful now then we'll be in trouble later"_ her mother sounded hysterical.

She'll probably start crying within a minute thought Miyu.

 _"Are you suggesting that I am not capable of looking after my kids? Do you mean that I am negligent about their needs? I know what I'm doing alright. Don't talk when you know nothing about things okay. I keep telling you that you should stop worrying about not having enough money. I have told you so many times before that we have enough to educate our children and live our lives comfortably"_ shouted her father. Her mother snorted.

Miyu agreed with her father about the fact that they did manage every month and shortage of money was rare. She sighed as her parents continued to have their regular argument and she knew she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep now. She looked over to her alarm clock. It was almost 2:00 in the morning and she was as awake as an owl. Angry tears filled her eyes and she brushed them off dismissing the thoughts that were meaner than usual.

I wish they would stop arguing just for a day.

I wish they never talked again at least then we will enjoy some silence in our lives.

I wish they would just get a divorce because what's the point in being in an unhappy marriage where her father didn't respect her mother and her mom was too stupid or naïve to walk out on them.

I wish they would go away so that I can have just one day of complete peace.

She sighed again and went back to lying staring up at the sky watching the stars. Somehow those twinkling lights lulled her back into a fitful sleep where she dreamed about chasing her parents through a forest shouting something. Then she transformed into a queen and ordered her parent to lead separate lives. Her alarm went off at 4:00 AM and her eyes flew open. She looked outside the window. The sky was just less dark than it had been when she had woken up to her parents having a shouting match in the dead of the night. She went off to the kitchen and started preparing for breakfast knowing very well that her parents won't talk for at least two days and their tempers will expend on their innocent children. Once they went on to ignore each other for a whole week. As she prepared for the breakfast she realised that she had only one lunch to prepare for as her brother who was still in elementary school had his day off and her father always ate at his office cafeteria. She went off to shower and get ready for school.

When she walked into the dining room as expected her brother was still sleeping and her parents were ignoring each other like usual. The environment at the table was thicker than ice and she found it really hard to eat anything as she tried feebly to eat just for the sake of doing something.

 _"Dad, I didn't prepare your lunch, I thought you'll be eating at your office"_

 _"It's alright, I don't have any work today and besides it's not your job to cook meals"_ her father looked up from his morning paper long enough to give her mother a scathing look.

 _"Mum I've taken care of the laundry, just switch the machine off in time"_

Her mother nodded in her direction and looked at her father with so much anger that she could visualise the vibes. As her mother opened her mouth to retort something happened to Miyu that had never happened before.

Anger welled inside her abruptly and she stood up with such force that her chair fell off and her parents looked up at her in surprise.

 _"I WISH YOU GUYS WOULD JUST STOP DOING THIS EVERY MORNING. WHY CAN'T YOU STOP ARGUING JUST FOR A SECOND? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO ALWAYS MAKE SNIDE REMARKS ABOUT EACH OTHER? WHY DID YOU EVEN MARRY? WHY CAN'T YOU STOP JUST FOR A SECOND? DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS LIKE TO WATCH YOU GUYS FIGHT LIKE THIS EVERYDAY? I WISH YOU WOULD GET A DIVORCE. I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN"_

Complete silence followed her outburst and she tried to push back the angry tears that were threatening to fall down her face. She pushed her untouched food aside and picked her school bag. Her parents were still recuperating from her sudden outburst when she looked at them through angry tears _"I hate you, I really hate you guys"_ and stifling a moan she marched out of the house banging the door shut in her wake.

She walked so fast that she was almost running as she made her way to her favourite place, a small clearing in the middle of the woods near her school. She walked over to the lonely stone which was big enough for her to sit on. She threw her school bag aside and looked over the lonely small lake. Lonely and ignored just like her it had a melancholic beauty to it which tore at her heart. As she sat there watching the green grass and the water reflecting the clear blue sky overhead somehow she found her heart grow lighter. She sat there watching the birds swim for ages and when she felt like it stood up to wash her face. When she turned around she thought she noticed something or someone at the far end concealed among the trees and shrubs. Thinking about wild animals she increased her pace and walked over to her school. Despite of sitting at the lake for what seemed like hours she was in time for school and walked over to her seat at the back in the corner near the window. Akira turned around to wave at her. She vaguely noticed her home room teacher walk in and take attendance as usual. She was staring at her scrapbook and the words she had written the day before

'Am I invisible? Why does nobody notice me?

I put on a smile just to fit in but it hurts to fake everything

I wish I could find you, I wish you would see

That I'm dying inside waiting for you to come and change how I feel'

 _"So class, today we have a new student, let us all welcome him"_ Ms. Mizuno said and the whole class erupted into some frenzy as somebody walked into the room while Miyu was still trying to look around her mind searching for the right set of words to write down next when from far away she heard her name and whole class went silent. She looked up to see that everyone was staring at her as a very tall guy walked over to her and sat down in the empty seat next to her. She looked around to find herself face to face with a boy who was probably the most gorgeous looking guy she had ever seen but he also had some sort of dark aura to him. His clothes were all crumpled and the edge of his shirt was poking out of his pants and he had pierced his ears. He was wearing black coloured round earrings, bracelets and a locket around his neck. She also saw some tattoos peeking out from beneath his vest as he turned around to face her.

Well that is some strange expression she thought as he gave her an extremely calculated, cold look. He looked at her desk and then again at her face as if searching for something. Satisfied with whatever he saw there he turned back to look at their teacher who gave him an encouraging smile and went about with the lesson.

Miyu frowned at him and went back to thinking about more lines to write down. Nobody said a word for the whole lesson and when the bell rang everybody got busy preparing for the next class when she heard a low sexy growl coming from her new neighbour. She looked around to see that he was sleeping actually sleeping and that almost made her smile. The door opened and their next teacher walked into the class as she poked him in the arm as a warning. He merely turned his head to face other way and went back to sleeping again.

On your head be it then she thought and took out her maths textbook.

 _"Good morning class now we covered the relationship between radian and degree yesterday now today let us start trigonometric functions._ _Now who can tell me the relation between sine of theta and cosine of theta?_

 _No one, okay well I was told that there's a new student in the class let's see…"_ and he looked around to search for the unfamiliar face among the swarm of familiar ones while everyone else turned their heads in unison. Soon enough their teacher found him and realised just like the rest of the class that the new boy was peacefully asleep with his arms covering most of his face. Feeling insulted their teacher cleared his throat so loudly that most of the students jumped in their seats.

 _"Mr. Saionji, this is highly disrespectful beha…."_ when he noticed that the boy didn't even stir, he raised his voice slightly.

 _"Mr. Kanata Saionji"_

Miyu poked him again in the arm and this time Kanata did raise his head to find everyone staring at him like if he was some interesting specimen kept in displat at some museum and probably wondering about his audacity to fall asleep on his very first day.

 _"What"_ he asked in an irritated voice. Miyu jerked her head in the teachers' direction and he looked around to see that the slightly bald and slightly round and a stout figure was glaring at him from behind his glasses.

 _"I must assume that you know everything about trigonometry going by your behaviour"_ said the teacher clearly in a humiliating tone. He was perhaps under impression like the rest of the class that this new boy was a delinquent who wouldn't ever bother opening his textbook.

 _"Sir…"_ Kanata tried to sound innocent but Miyu could easily detect the underlying sarcasm and looked over to him wondering what he was going to do now.

 _"Well you see I asked a question and I was wondering if you could kindly bestow upon us all your knowledge of trigonometry and give the relation between sine of theta and cosine of theta"_ he appeared to be extremely pleased for something as insignificant as asking a question.

Kanata stared at him for a whole minute as if contemplating weather to walk out of class or to say whatever that was on his mind. Perhaps he had decided to follow the latter option because he took a deep breath and opened his mouth.

 _"The sum of the square of sine theta and square of cosine theta is one. Also both have range and domain from minus of one to plus of one. Sine theta is an odd function whereas cosine theta is an even function. I could go on and on but I think I have already answered your question…sir"_

One whole minute of stunned silence followed in which few looked scared but most of the class seemed to be relishing the moment. Finally here was someone who didn't take crap from teachers somebody with enough guts to stand up for themselves. Miyu could tell that he was going to be hugely popular judging from the revering looks from guys and flirting eyelashes from girls, she heaved a huge sigh and turned back to her own book and thought so many empty seats and this rebel had to come and sit next to her.

Bell rang and the teacher stomped out of class giving them way too many questions for homework than it was necessary. Now everybody had to pay for his cheek she thought.

 _"I want you to show me around"_ it sounded like an order. She turned to find him staring at her with such intensity as if she had been the one trying to humiliate him. She frowned and looked away from him.

 _"I said I want you to show me around"_

 _"I don't take orders from strangers"_ she replied without raising her head. She was peering over her scrap book when it closed and she was staring at an immensely angry face.

 _"Give it back"_ she said extending her hand.

 _"I want you to show me around school didn't you hear me"_ he said rising up to his full height. Everyone else looked around to find the source of commotion.

 _"Go ask the class president and give that here"_ she rose to her feet too glaring at him.

 _"You are class president are you not?"_

 _"Yes for girls, are you a girl?"_

 _"Your homeroom teacher asked you to show me around"_

 _"OUR homeroom teacher and GIVE THAT HERE"_ she practically shouted and tried to pry her book from his fingers. But he simply raised his hand up beyond her reach.

 _"Show me around NOW and I'll give it back"_

 _"NO"_ and she climbed on her chair to reach for her book. He took a step back just in time but sadly she slipped off her chair and fell face first onto the floor. She stood up and glared at him with such intense hatred that it was a miracle he didn't burn down to ashes that very moment instead he simply shrugged his shoulders turning around and walked out of class with her scrapbook still clutched in his right hand.

She cursed and shouted abuse to his retreating back. After several minutes of trying to calm down as she was suddenly overcome with an urge to kill she followed him out when she was sure that her anger had staved off a little. She found him standing with his back leaning on the wall hands and legs crossed as if he was anywhere but in a school. Glaring again she took off and he followed. _"Staff room…Sports room...labs…library…medical room…auditorium...music room…store room…cafeteria…and that is the playground"_ she felt like she was reading items off a grocery list.

They were on the terrace looking down to the courts. She turned around to face him and extended her hand for her scrapbook again. He walked over and handed it back quietly. She turned around and left without a word or a backward glance straight back to her class still raging inside.

 _"You're back so soon. I thought you would take your time to extend it for as long as it was possible with a gorgeous eye candy like that I would have done anything to show him around you know"_ exclaimed her pathetically over romantic best friend Akira. Miyu glared at her in anger.

 _"You know what actually he isn't that good looking now I think of it. Definitely a jerk from the way he forced you. He's really ugly"_ she said with such earnest conviction that made Miyu almost smile and she went back to her seat. To her relief Kanata didn't turn again for the rest of the day which suited her best. It was time to go home and she was packing her bag while checking that all the seats were in order when the door opened and the world's biggest jerk entered the room.

 _"Miyu how are you?"_

 _"I'm fine, what do you need Tora?"_

 _"Now don't sound so cold aren't you glad to see me?"_

 _"I've already told you before I'm not interested why can't you leave me alone?"_ she was pissed and just wanted to go home

 _"Now listen here Miyu I like you and that is solely why I tolerate your behaviour let me assure you that I know of ways to get what I want alright"_ he threatened her. She looked a bit scared. After all he was an extremely rich guy and not to forget an excellent martial arts champion whereas she didn't even know the basics of self defence. She looked around at the closed gate which suddenly burst open and in came the last person she had expected. Kanata walked in with his hands in his pockets looking like he was strolling in a garden and walked over to them. He quietly picked his bag and walked back. Not wanting to be left alone with Tora Toudou she opened her mouth to say something anything.

 _"Don't you want to go home prez or are you planning to spend rest of the night cleaning this room?"_ he looked over his shoulder and Miyu quickly followed him out without stopping to look at either of them who unbeknown to her were having some sort of staring match.

God what a day she thought as she increased her pace in order to get to her house not knowing that she was walking towards the worst experience of her life.

 **Upcoming next:**

When she walked into her house she immediately knew that something was amiss because the room looked like it had been searched with next to no attempt of subtlety. Everything was in chaos the table upturned, sofa stabbed with cruelty and clothes lying on the floor. She called for her mother and when there was no answering call cold fear gripped at her heart. She looked around once more realising she didn't have enough courage to walk further in so she walked out of the house instead and called the police immediately.

 **Read and Review**

 **Like it? Hate it?**

Let me know because your comments and suggestions are the motivation I need to keep writing.


	2. The Unexpected Knight

**Chapter 2**

 **The unexpected Knight**

Everywhere was chaos and she was lost among the sea of moving bodies policemen, doctors, paramedics and grieving neighbours alike. She simply sat there without taking in a single word of comfort being offered by sympathetic neighbours all strangers to her right now. All she knew was that she'll never see her parents again and the last thing she had told them was that she hated them. It wasn't true she didn't hate her parents she loved them very much and now she would never see them again ever. She won't ever be able to apologise now. She should have said something nice like how much grateful and lucky she was to have them as her parents that they were the best thing in the whole world but now it was too late. No matter how much she was pleading them to come back they had gone too far a place with no point of return and her brother she hadn't even seen him properly in the morning when she had left for school.

Something was squeezing her heart so tightly that it was getting impossible to draw any breathe. She was cold and her mind numb completely blank blocking everything from her surroundings which was probably a blessing as it delayed the eventual shock. Tears simply refused to appear as if they knew there was no point in falling down because no amount of tears could bring back what she had lost. There was someone holding her and dragging her she didn't protest. It doesn't matter wherever she goes now because there will never be any peace and comfort in her life again. She didn't want to live and suddenly she was overcome by an urge to stand in the middle of the highway and just be done with this cruel harsh reality. At least that way she would see her family again and live with them and this time she would tell them how much important they are for her.

Why me she thought all of the sudden getting angry at no one in particular. Why my family? She had been a responsible and law abiding person for her whole 16 years of life. She believed in good things happen to good people and she had always been nice to everyone always helping others and trying to keep everyone happy. She never bullied anyone and was never mean to anyone then why her family had to die? I want to die. I want to go and lie down with them.

 _"_ _Come Miyu let's go"_ Akira said through tears as she held her numb friend in her arms and dragged her to the car. It had been just a phone call but she knew something terrible had happened from the way Miyu had called out her name just her name. There had been no emotion in it nothing but a blank robotic voice calling her name from the other end and she had hurried down here to receive the biggest shock of her life that Miyu's family had been found dead. Police was contemplating murder but said they would wait for the medical reports to be sure.

Miyu didn't remember a thing after walking out of her house it was all blank and when she found herself in this strange room she panicked just then the door opened and in came her best friend. Akira was carrying a huge tray laid with breakfast and Miyu stared at her as she carried it over to the table.

 _"_ _I'm not hungry"_

 _"_ _You have to eat something Miyu you need your strength"_

She said nothing. She didn't have any strength left to argue so she decided to let it be. Perhaps this is exactly what Akira had expected from her as she walked over to the bed and pushed a plate of scrambled eggs right under her nose. Miyu turned away from it feeling nauseated but Akira simply thrust it again at her face. Anger welled inside her as she grabbed the plate and threw it away from her onto the floor before she knew it she was shouting.

 _"_ _DO YOU REALLY THINK I CARE ABOUT SUCH TRIVIAL THING AS FOOD? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M NOT HUNGRY? I FEEL SICK. I WANT TO DIE"_

 _"_ _I know Miyu but you really do need to eat because starving yourself is not an option. That is not how you cope. You'll never get over it. You'll simply learn to live with it."_ Her voice cracked as she said that.

 _"_ _HOW WOULD YOU KNOW? YOU HAVEN'T LOST ANYONE"_ it felt nice to let go and she felt strangely alive taking it all out on someone.

 _"_ _They always treated me like a daughter and I loved them like my own parents"_ Akira said so quietly that Miyu wouldn't have known it was her if she hadn't been glaring at her.

Of all the things that would have made her finally realise the enormity of the situation it was this quiet confession and Miyu broke down for the first time since yesterday. She was crumbling to pieces right there in the arms of her best friend and she knew she would never be normal again. Ages after when there were no tears to shed she looked at Akira and realised how lucky she was to have a friend who cared this much. She couldn't face school not right now and avoided it for days but also knew in her heart that she couldn't avoid it forever.

Days later when she walked into the class she was surprised to find it exactly the same as she had left it a million years ago while her whole life had turned upside down. She walked over to her desk and saw that it was just the same that familiar brown furniture wood full of graffiti carved on it by the hoards of students who had used it before.

Weeks went by without her noticing and her grades fell down to dangerous levels but nobody said anything. None of the teachers called her to their office in order to motivate her or to tell her off for not concentrating enough in class. She knew they all pitied her and there were times when she so much wanted to shout at them.

She wanted them to treat her normally like any other student because she couldn't take it in all that pity and sympathy. She would've given anything to have that normal life before everything fell apart.

The only person who didn't treat her differently was Kanata. He was as arrogant and distant as he had been on his first day at school and he had been the same when she had come back after days. He had simply walked into the class after an hour of her coming back and quietly after dumping his school bag on the seat next to her had walked out without a word. He hadn't appeared till the classes were over. She almost loved him for treating her like that. At least something was quiet normal though it was true that she was running into him almost everywhere nowadays; on her way to library or washroom even on those rare occasions when she went out to supermarket for grocery shopping. She was still having nightmares of strange creatures hidden in the dark and usually never slept for more than 4 hours. There were times when she found herself in places she couldn't even remember walking up to.

She had been neglecting her duties as class president and finally 2 or so month later was summoned by her homeroom teacher.

 _"_ _Have a seat Miyu"_

 _"_ _No I'm fine"_ she simply stood there.

 _"_ _I insist please sit down"_ she spoke in a very soft voice as if she was talking to someone who was on their deathbed. When Miyu sat down she realised that she couldn't raise her eyes and look at her teachers' face. It was far too easy to observe her closely knit fingers in her lap instead and that's exactly what she chose to do.

 _"_ _Miyu I know these past few months have been extremely hard for you but you need to start to let go. I'm not asking you to forget I can't ask you that because quite frankly you don't ever but it is time for you to start trying. Take charge of your life and don't waste it. You are an extremely talented person and an incredible human being. I don't say this out of sympathy Miyu but you need to start again just one step at a time is what I'm asking of you and I promise it'll get easier."_

 _"_ _If you want me to continue my presidential duties then I just can't do them. I'm sorry but I'll resign because I can't continue…"_

 _"_ _No"_ she interrupted her sharply and Miyu looked up into her face for the first time after sitting down. There was kindness but also a slight trace of sternness in the look she gave her.

 _"_ _I believe in my choice and I know you are a worthy candidate for being school president next year. I absolutely refuse to let you resign and I want you to go home and think of how to start again. Moreover I have complete faith in you. I know you are a decent child and life is hardly fare. I know you're hurting but it's time for you to let go now. You're an excellent musician and if it's too hard then all you need to do is keep yourself busy as busy as it can get without breaking down because sometimes all we need is to physically over exert ourselves in order to forget. Please Miyu bear in mind that I have nothing but your best interests in my heart. I respect you as a person and love you as a teacher"_

She didn't ask her teacher about how she knew that Miyu was a musician when she had never performed in front of an audience. Except for Akira and maybe her music teacher nobody knew she sang or played instruments. She could also tell that there would be no point in arguing further so she simply nodded her head at the desk and walked out of the office back to her class. The day went by without any hassle and before she knew it she was standing inside her home which stood now empty and neglected without the noise of turning newspaper pages or scrubbing of floors or the occasional bursts of laughter from the corner where her TV sat forlorn just the way she was.

 _"_ _I miss them too you know"_ she called out to the empty walls and went off to her room and fell asleep fully dressed.

When she woke up hours later she walked over to the kitchen for some water and realised for the first time she feeling something close to hunger. She opened the fridge but it was empty except for the water bottles. She searched the cabinets but nothing there either. After searching thoroughly she finally had to accept that there was nothing to eat and there was no way but to walk up to supermarket and fetch something. She looked at the wall clock and found it was almost 7 in the evening.

It would take little more than half an hour to return from the supermarket which was approx at 10 minutes of walking distance. Satisfied with her purchases she started back for her home and as usual found herself lost into the words of her teacher.

 _I believe in you. You are amazingly talented. I respect you. I love you._

These words still rang inside her head and she hardly noticed where she was walking to. It was too late for her to realise that once again she had wandered somewhere she hadn't intended to and sadly she wasn't lucky this time as she walked head first into a group of thugs who looked around to see her staring dumbly at them.

Run exclaimed her brain but her legs were rooted to the ground with some invisible force.

 _"_ _Lost are you sweetheart"_ called someone who looked like the leader of the group and others laughed.

 _"_ _No I..I just…I was just going home"_ she stammered and turned back but before she could take even one step forward three people were blocking her way ahead and she had nowhere to turn to. She turned back again and this time she really was scared.

 _"_ _Please I don't have any money. All I have is some grocery. You can take it if you want and please let me go"_ she pleaded but knew it was in vain as they simply scorned at her. Before she could open her mouth to shout for help her arms were locked behind her back and someone had covered her mouth with a hand easily restraining her efforts to free herself or to shout. She struggled for a while but felt her struggle dying a quick death.

 _"_ _There's no need to hurry and you look far more delicious than any grocery right now"_ he took a step forward and raised a hand to wipe her hairs off her face. She felt herself cringe from his touch and he simply laughed. Soon they were carrying her to a nearby ditch surrounded by trees. The place was secluded and there was no point in raising her voice for help. There was nobody nearby nothing. How could she have been so stupid? How many times her father had warned her against gong outside after dark?

Helpless tears spilled out of her eyes and she shut them tight as despair claimed her once again. She thought this is it. This is how I'll die. They'll surely kill me after they are done with me and dump my body in the forest where it'll take ages to find me. Oh dear what a painful way to die. She was so busy dreading the next thing that it was after quiet some time she realised that there was no hand covering her mouth. Gone were the hands restraining her arms and she was free to move around. She heard a few scuffles and a thump before she sat up to look around to find a heap of unconscious bodies lying on the ground nearby and a solitary figure watching her screened by the darkness.

It took her a few moments to calm down and realise that he wouldn't jump her he had had his chance when she had been lying quiet defenceless on the ground. Slowly she stood up and walked over to say thank you when she was shocked out of her senses to find Kanata Saionji of all the people in the world staring at her with such anger that she actually took a few steps back.

 _"_ _What the hell were you thinking walking alone in the forest at night? What was so important that couldn't wait till morning?"_ he could barely conceal the anger in his voice.

 _"_ _I was hungry and there was nothing at home so I thought I would go and…"_ her answer died mid sentence. He gave her one seething look before turning back and after dumping all her purchases unceremoniously into the backseat of his car and came back to shove her into the passenger's seat. It took them less than 5 minutes to get to her home where Kanata picked up the bags and stalked to her house. He didn't come back to fetch her and she didn't have enough courage to follow him just now. Minutes later when she thought he must have calmed down a bit she walked through the front door to find all her purchases scattered on the table. She walked a bit further and found him sitting in her father's chair. He had laid down a plate of steaming noodles.

 _"_ _Sit"_ he said curtly pointing to the chair next to him. She quietly complied and began to eat. She didn't ask him how did he find her or how did he know where she lived. She simply ate in silence without raising her head because she had a peculiar feeling that he was watching her. When she was done eating as much as she could he lifted her dish and went back to the kitchen. What is he doing here she thought as she heard him wash her dishes. He returned with a cup of steaming hot green tea a few minutes later and placed it in front of her.

She opened her mouth to say thank you when he finally burst with the anger he had been trying so hard to conceal.

 _"_ _Don't you have any instinct for self preservation?"_

 _"_ _What do you mean?"_ she asked timidly.

 _"_ _You didn't even call for help and you weren't even struggling either. It was as if they were carrying a log of wood instead of a human. If it hadn't been for me…"_ he left that sentence hanging in the air.

 _"_ _I didn't think…"_

 _"_ _Of course you don't think anything nowadays do you? You just walk around like a zombie. You don't use your brain either do you? Your parents were murdered they didn't die of natural causes. It didn't even occur to you that whoever did that is still at large and they might be looking for a chance to finish you off too"_

She hadn't thought of that. All these months she had been mourning her family without even stopping to think for once that there might have been a reason.

 _"_ _What do you …"_

 _"_ _Never mind that now but what's important is that you don't leave your house especially after dark and don't go anywhere all by yourself not even during the day. Shut the door and windows every night before you go to sleep. Do you hear me?"_

She nodded her head. She thought she saw him edge closer to her but by the time she looked up he had already walked out of the front door into the night.

 **Upcoming next**

It's time to try and move on because brooding over what she has lost won't change her future so Miyu decides to take her teacher's advice and start putting all her efforts into two things - academics and music. There is going to be a musical drama and she really wants to participate in the event but she's not sure if she should or if she's even good enough when help comes from the last person she had expected. While working on her stage fear as well as her music Miyu finds herself falling hard for the person who's determined to keep his distance from everyone or so she thought until she finds out exactly why.

 **Like it? Hate it?**

Please let me know and I apologise for any errors grammatical or spellings alike...I'm just too lazy to proofread.


	3. Falling head over heels

Hey, I'm sorry for the late update…I'm just going through something and I didn't have the heart to write for sometime…I am actually considering to stop writing but I am making an effort to not give up just yet…in order to make up for the delay this chapter is tooo loooooong (this might give you an idea about exactly how long) and the next update might take some time (maybe) but I'll try my best to keep up….hope you'll like it….please REVIEW…positive negative anything would suffice

 **Chapter 3**

 **Falling head over heels**

What's going on? Thought Miyu as she struggled to get to her classroom through the hoard of students standing near the door talking excitedly about something pinned on the notice board. Having absolutely next to NO curiosity at all she walked over to her seat when Akira appeared squealing happily.

 _"_ _Miyu finally you're here. Guess what there is going to be a musical drama"_ when Miyu didn't react at all she explained _"_ _like the ones in which people act and songs are used to tell most of the story instead sort of like_ _theatre_ _but not quite so. Auditions are next week you should participate?"_

 _"_ _No"_ she said at once. There was a time when she would have done anything for a chance like this but now she didn't feel the enthusiasm or the excitement. There was no spark of anything within her. She had been waiting for a chance like this for ages, to be able to write her own music and present it as a story, it was the perfect opportunity almost like a dream come true but now she felt no desire to even consider it.

 _"_ _Come on Miyu, don't be like that. You're the perfect person for this and this is one in a million opportunity"_

Miyu gave her a grievous smile and settled down thinking whether she should even bother turning up for the auditions. What if people didn't like her? What if they laughed at her? Will she be able to handle any rejection? Suddenly she recalled her teacher's words about getting busy and wondered if she was making a mistake by not even trying. She didn't take in a single word Akira was saying as she kept brooding over what should she do. She was of two minds; she really wanted to participate but was also scared at the same time. She had never performed in front of anyone ever before. She always got nervous when she had to answer questions in class then how could she perform in front of whole school. There'll be so many prying eyes trained upon her observing her every move every slight twitch of her body judging her by her movements. She broke into a cold sweat by the mere thought of it.

Just then Kanata walked into the class looking like he didn't belong here. Come to think of it he did look a few years older than most of the class or maybe it was just his height. He was easily a foot taller than the rest. She thought maybe after yesterday he would at least acknowledge her presence but she was wrong as he merely threw his bag and walked out again. Why did he even bother turning up at school was beyond her since he never attended any of the classes. God only knew what he did whole day holed up in his god knows where den.

Over next week Miyu changed her mind several times about auditioning at times she thought she would get selected but then she was convinced that everyone would think she was crazy even to try and on the day of auditions she thought to have a look anyway even if she didn't have the courage to audition. She went to the auditorium and found out that almost whole school had turned up either to audition or to simply watch others audition. Akira was auditioning for the female lead so Miyu was all by herself and decided to sit at the farthest and most secluded corner she could find. Auditions were divided in two parts. First was for selecting actors for the drama and in second the group of musicians and writers who would handle everything from dialogues to the songs and music to be used in the drama. Everyone was busy preparing for their acts and Miyu was looking out for Akira when somebody walked over and sat in the seat next to her.

 _"_ _Why are you not auditioning?"_

She looked around to find Kanata staring at her with narrowed eyes and a frown which seemed to be ever present whenever he addressed her.

Is he always grumpy?

 _"_ _I don't want to"_ that's a lie she knew it but continued anyway _"besides I'll just end up embarrassing myself in front of everyone"_ that wasn't a lie though and given her anxiety she probably would make a joke of herself.

 _"_ _Don't you write songs? That scrapbook of yours was full of songs or do you copy them from internet and write it down so that others would think…"_

 _"_ _I've never copied one single letter from anywhere in my life so mind you don't insult my integrity"_ she snapped feeling insulted for being accused of being a show off.

 _"_ _Then why aren't you participating?"_

 _"_ _I told you I don't want to"_

 _"_ _So why are you here?"_

 _"_ _I came to watch Akira audition she is an excellent actor and she's the most beautiful girl in school so I'm sure she'll get the female lead. I'm here to cheer her"_

 _"_ _So you are here to cheer for somebody you already know will be chosen for the lead character"_ he sounded cross.

She gave him a questioning look while he shook his head in disbelief.

 _"_ _I don't believe this you're not even being true to yourself. Did you really come here to cheer your best friend or did you come to see who would get to sing and compose the music for the drama. At least be true to yourself"_

He stood up and walked a few steps ahead then suddenly turned his head around to look at her and said _"Do yourself a favour will you and stop pitying yourself. You're not the only person in this world who's ever lost their family. People go through so much pain in their lives and still find reasons enough to live and enough courage to go on. You're just trying to fuck up your life by trying your best to fade away instead of fighting back."_

Miyu stared at his retreating back while his words rang in her head stinging her to the core. The world began to spin and her throat began to close. She felt like choking and forced her mouth wide open. She couldn't breathe and took a gulp of air through her mouth instead forcing it don her throat. Her breathing got heavy as she tried to stand up the world span too fast for her to keep her balance and she welcomed the oblivious darkness that surrounded her.

 _"_ _Hey are you okay?"_

Akira was bent over her scrutinising her face for some invisible signs as Miyu opened her eyes. She realised that she was in the medical room of the school surrounded by her homeroom teacher, Akira and the school nurse.

 _"_ _It's okay it was just a panic attack and you fainted. Anxiety can be nasty sometimes. Are you okay dear?"_ asked the elderly polite nurse.

She felt groggy and she could feel her head throbbing as she nodded.

 _"_ _What happened? How did I get here?"_ she asked.

 _"_ _Well you fainted for some god damn reason excuse my language Miss Mizuno and Kanata Saionji brought you here"_ replied Akira.

 _"_ _What did you say?"_ she asked her again thinking she must have heard wrong.

 _"_ _Kanata Saionji carried you all the way here. I got so worried when I saw him carrying you it seemed like you were dead or something. He is the one who saw you faint. Honestly I have no idea what was he doing down there but thank god he was there because apparently he is the only one who saw you faint. Really Miyu why did you have to go and sit in the most farthest and the most secluded corner of the room. Sometimes I feel like…"_ she balled her hands and pressed her lips tight into a thin line, she was too overwhelmed to talk.

I know what he was doing down there, he tried his best to humiliate me and reduce me to nothing but she didn't say it out loud and instead sat there quietly for a while. Suddenly she addressed her teacher _"Have you screened everyone you need?"_

 _"_ _No there are too many students to be screened in a day_ " she replied smiling a knowing smile.

 _"_ _I want to participate"_ Miyu said. I have to prove my worth to those who think I am nothing but a wreck she thought determinedly.

 _"_ _Miyu if fainting gives you such ideas then you should faint more often. Maybe I can help you know, knock you out cold every now and then"_ said Akira hugging her best friend feeling grateful thinking finally she was coming around.

Audition was a piece of cake but Miyu's biggest fear was to perform in front of an audience and it turned out that there will be students from other schools as well as some reputed people from the entertainment industry. Every time she went on stage she started fumbling and this was the case when barely anyone apart from the drama club was present. Akira tried to make her feel comfortable but for Miyu it was getting almost impossible to perform even one song without fumbling. She did well when no one was looking at her but anytime she found anyone looking in her direction she would start getting nervous and then end up messing rest of the song. She had already composed something for the drama but the trouble was her being on stage to perform certain songs. It turned out that musical drama did not mean just telling the story through songs but you had to act along and Miyu was a terrible actor. It didn't help that it got worse every time she went onstage. Everyone was quick to notice both her terrible acting skills and her stage fright.

The club had gathered to decide upon the characters to be played by everyone and Miyu had been asked to act a bit. She had been terrible and it got worse when everyone was watching her perform. She was superb when she was asked to perform certain songs it was like watching a professional performing instead of a 16 years old introvert who barely spoke more than two words.

 _"_ _We cannot replace her she's too good for that but what about her acting and her social anxiety"_

 _"_ _Hey what about we record the songs and then use it like in movies. That way she won't have to perform…"_

 _"_ _Then we don't help her getting over her phobia, there's no point of her participating if she can't work on it and improve at least a little…all these activities are supposed to help us evolve and challenge ourselves and if you bend the rules to your comfort then there is no point in participating…if you can't face your fears then why bother participating at all…we need to find a better solution"_

 _"_ _I have an idea"_ Akira said. She was determined to help her best friend _"what about this we make Miyu play the background score for the first half of drama from the corner of stage till she gets comfortable enough to get her bearings…I know once she gets comfortable she'll perform her best…we won't focus much on her for some time of the drama so that she doesn't have to fret about being the centre of attention because that is what bugs her…being looked at getting noticed…she'll get used to the scenario by then and hopefully there will be less chances of her messing up or getting anxious after she has spent some time being on stage"_

 _"_ _We can try that but will she agree? She is adamant about not performing on stage at all"_

Miyu was sceptical at first she was convinced that she was going to make herself look like an idiot in front of the whole town but agreed to give it a try eventually.

 _"_ _So how are you today?"_ Akira asked Miyu and sat on the seat in front of her.

 _"_ _Good, what about you?"_

 _"_ _Excited, finally we'll be starting the rehearsals officially from today with the whole cast, I can't wait"_ squealed Akira. Miyu smiled at her thinking what on earth was she going to do now that everyone will be present that is everyone from the costume designers to stage decorating team and the acting club and the band she'll be working with. She was looking forward in particular to meeting others. She couldn't wait to start working with the rest of the band and wondered who would be singing for the male lead. Since it was a typical romantic drama following two childhood best friends there was a huge collection of romantic songs too pick from the real challenge however was to compose the background score for the drama because that had to be original. She had composed something and couldn't wait to ask for other's opinion.

After the lunch hour Miyu and Akira walked over to the auditorium for their first proper practice session.

In order to spare her further misery and to relieve her worries the club had decided that Miyu really didn't have to act (she was way too terrible for that), so she could happily sit in the corner and tinker with her instruments and sing her songs without interrupting anything or anyone. It suited her to some extent as long as the said tinkering was to take place in the back of the stage but that was the glitch. The band had been set right at front on the right side of the stage.

When they all lined up to start rehearsing she walked over to the group of students standing near the instruments. She walked straight over to the pianoforte and conjured up a melody she had been working on. She didn't realize that the whole room had gone quiet and everybody was looking at her while she happily played on and on till she suddenly realized what she was doing and stopped abruptly to look around. Everyone in the room was looking at her in utter amazement and absolute surprise. She felt compelled to apologise for some absurd reason.

 _"_ _I am so sorry I didn't mean to interrupt…"_ but rest of her apology was drowned by the clapping that emanated from one corner of the room and gradually everyone joined in to cheer her on. She was so overcome by the emotions that she couldn't stop the tears from falling and had to turn around in order to wipe them away. Somehow it meant a lot to her, being accepted and acknowledged like this, it was a huge deal for her. She felt her anxiety to start ebbing away a little. Maybe it wasn't so bad after all and maybe she would be just fine well as fine as a socially awkward person can be.

 _"_ _Wow Kouzuki that was great, did you compose it?"_ asked one of the students standing nearby.

 _"_ _Uhh…yes I did. Actually I did compose quite a bit beforehand and was looking forward to share it with the band and of course you don't have to use it for the drama but I thought it would be nice to some feedback"_

 _"_ _Well the feedback is that it was pretty good"_

That came from the last person she would have expected to give her any compliments at all. Kanata Saionji stood in front of her and for the first time he wasn't frowning at her and if she had been brave enough to keep the eye contact any longer she would have noticed the flicker of warmth in his eyes as he stood there in front of her something that went unnoticed by everyone but Akira who was curiously studying his demeanour.

 _"_ _What are you doing here?"_ that was the first thing that crossed Miyu's mind and she realized too late that she had spoken out loud. His expressions hardened and he raised his eyebrows in disdain.

 _"_ _Why do you have a monopoly over who can stay here and who can't?"_

 _"_ _I didn't…"_

 _"_ _Who cares and I'm in the band, I'll be playing the drums might even sing a song or two if I feel like it"_

 _"_ _I didn't know you played drums"_ that was a stupid thing to say she thought.

 _"_ _Oh trust me you know nothing about me absolutely nothing - you have no idea of who I am"_ he added smirking as if he was enjoying some inside joke making her feel like a dumb idiot.

His provocative tone made even Miyu who was usually sweet in nature to retort.

 _"_ _I know for a fact that you are a narcissist-arrogant-"_ she wanted to say asshole but added jerk instead. She was too nice to call someone an asshole even if that someone had been kind to her in the direst ways possible.

He gave her one long head to toe look and shrugged in an indifferent manner. What is he scanning me for, hidden weapons? She frowned at him then turned around to talk with other members of the band. Although she could play several instruments but there is no such thing as a one man band or one woman band as was in this case. They all decided who would be playing what and Miyu ended up with the piano and there was another girl from another class who would be playing the violin and there were three boys including Kanata two of who would be playing the acoustic guitar, electric guitar and Kanata on the drums.

They also had some stand by musicians who were to practice with them every day in case if they needed last minute replacements.

As the practice went on the time spent holed up in the auditorium began to extend well beyond their allotted practice time. There was always some glitch or the other, sometimes the lighting didn't suit the scenes or the music didn't go well with the ongoing emotions and sometimes nothing matched at all. With so much going on and every group trying so hard to work in harmony to make the show a sure hit they became a single unit in no time. Miyu was surprised to see that she didn't feel as anxious as she had anticipated probably it had something to do with the positive response she was receiving from everyone. She was elected to play the background score for most of the drama and the rest of the group was to butt in every time they needed to perform a song which was quite often.

It was impossible to ignore Kanata since he isn't the type you could overlook, he was a snob with an attitude and sadly he had every right to be. Time revealed exactly how talented Kanata was as he helped not just their own band but also others with random things light fixing the sound system or the lighting system. Once he even pointed out that there was no emotion in the lead character's delivery and received a death glare in return. Miyu realised that although dominantly he was a genius an arrogant genius but he was also sweet no not sweet but nice to some extent. They were spending quiet a lot of time together and he often approached her in the end when he was finished with the rest of the group.

 _"_ _So how is it going?"_ asked a familiar voice but with the unfamiliarity of being gentle and Kanata sat down next to Miyu.

 _"_ _Good"_ she gave him a questioning look full of incredulity.

 _"_ _What?"_ he asked her somewhat annoyed.

 _"_ _Nothing…it's just that you've never been that nice to me"_ she flushed when he raised an eyebrow in response and continued _"I mean you have never talked to me in such civil manner"_

 _"_ _Really"_ he asked her with a genuine surprised look on his face, does he really not know that he come across as an arrogant rude person for most of the time.

 _"_ _Yes in fact I am almost convinced that you hate me"_

 _"_ _I don't hate you"_ he replied earnestly looking at the keys.

 _"_ _Huh"_

That was all she was able to say while she watched him play the piano. He was good not great but good enough.

 _"_ _So you can play piano too"_ she said. He gave her a small smile which almost took her breath away. She had been too busy hating him that she had forgotten how good looking he really was. The unconscious singer inside of her picked up her guitar and started singing Britney spears Beautiful and she had to screw her eyes shut to shake away the stupid song.

 _"_ _Are you okay_?" he asked.

 _"_ _Yup"_ she replied, smiling took some effort though.

 _"_ _Hmm"_ and he with that he returned to playing the melody she had been playing for so long. He was getting stuck at one point again and again till she took pity on him and reached out to help the poor soul. That was when it happened. She had no intention other than helping him and to show him the next key but apparently he figured it out at the same time. Both their hands touched as they tried to press the same key together. Although it wasn't a big deal for Kanata who had had his fare share of girls but to Miyu it was a completely different experience. She had no experience in the opposite sex department and believe it or not but to her it felt like a current passing through her. She looked at him and he turned towards her his eyes all over her face for a couple of moments before he said anything.

 _"_ _Uhh...Miyu would you mind?"_

 _"_ _Huh"_ was all she could utter and for some reason that made him smile. He leaned a little forward towards her. Her breath hitched and he repeated himself properly this time.

 _"_ _Do you mind releasing my hand"_ he raised his hand and to her utter horrifying embarrassment she saw that she was holding onto it firmly. She let go immediately and turned around mumbling an incoherent apology.

 _"_ _It's okay, I'll see you later"_ he said standing up. She was too busy staring at the keys and feeling too stupid to reply when he walked away but not before patting her on the head as if she was 5 years old. Even if she was no longer a toddler she really liked the gesture and was already missing it. For some incomprehensible reason she felt at peace for the first time in a very long time and that night she slept slightly better.

Next few days all Miyu did was notice every action of Kanata Saionji; the way he talk, walk and stands well just about everything about him. Once she was staring at him as usual when he suddenly turned around to look straight at her and gave her a smile but she had been so horrified at being caught that she had turned around suddenly and began playing random chords which came out as an absolute horrible melody as if poor piano was suffering from head cold. To make matters worse she sensed someone standing behind her and she had an inkling of who that might be.

 _"_ _Having a bad day are you?"_ asked Kanata sounding amused.

 _"_ _Uhh…no actually I wasn't paying much attention"_

 _"_ _Hmm…I noticed that"_

Cocky bastard she thought and blushed but thankfully she wasn't looking at him for him to notice that too.

 _"_ _Here let me help"_ and with that he leaned forward to help her. She felt him lean over her right shoulder and press a few keys and all she could do was think how close he was. She felt tingles passing on her back and goose bumps all over her body. She took a deep breath to calm herself while Kanata played the next remaining chords. This time he got all of them right and turned around to give her a huge smile at his success. He was so happy for getting the melody right and his smile was so contagious that she found herself grinning back at him.

After that day it didn't take too long for Miyu Kouzuki to fall completely head over heels for Kanata Saionji.

 **Upcoming next**

Drama is not just something you watch on the TV. People say that everything on the TV is inspired from real life and for the first time Miyu realised just how true that is. As the curtain unveils and the drama begins it didn't just end on stage. It continued over in her life and everything she had held dear slowly left her leaving her with nothing but a broken heart once again.

 **How was it?**

Good? Bad? Please let me know...I know it is a great deal longer than the usual length and I still want to hear anything. Let me know how I can improve and do review…please

Oh and I might update another chapter by the end of the day…mostly because it is going to be long time till my next update…anyways…thanks for your time…I appreciate it


	4. Drama in every sense of the word

Songs used are solely for entertainment purpose. No copyright intended.

Sorry for the late update and Thanks for reading.

 **Chapter 4**

 **Drama in every sense of the word**

 _"_ _Nervous?"_ asked Kanata.

 _"_ _Yeah a bit"_ Miyu replied.

 _"_ _You'll be fine, just imagine that you're performing for those you love and you'll be okay. You're too good to not be okay"_ he gave her a smile and they looked ahead at the closed curtains.

The curtain opens to reveal a couple dancing in the middle of the stage surrounded by more couples waltzing around them.

Elle _"Happy b'day babe"_

Alex _"thank you"_

E _"you're finally 18 wow! How do you feel?"_

A _"Uhh…old?"_

Elle laughs and they continue to dance to Mary's song by Taylor swift when the lights get dimmed and a projector starts projecting their childhood pictures like a film of their time spent together ever since they were kids.

Alex running ahead and Elle trying her best to catch up. Alex pouting while Elle is happily eating a chocolate bar.

They both smile at this one while the clip continues to play more of their childhood pictures showing how they grew up together. When lights come up again everybody sings the trademark b'day song for him. He just stands there holding Elle. She notices that his eyes aren't shining like they usually do whenever he smiles. She's about to ask him what's wrong when another song starts playing and this one is their song Jason Chen's Best friend (Kanata's singing and Miyu's on the piano). They both look at each other and while everyone else is dancing around them they just stand there looking at each other. Somehow Elle knows what's coming and she just hugs him tight before he can say anything. The pain is visible on their faces and she tries desperately to hold on to him while he tries to find his voice. He resolves to be done with this.

Alex _"El I need to tell you something"_

Elle _"I don't want to listen"_

A _"Please El it's important"_

E _"I don't care"_

He sighs and holds her arms in his hands. He looks at her beautiful face and eyes shining with tears.

A _"I'm leaving for England tomorrow… for college"_

E _"But you'll come back right? I mean you have your whole family here"_

A _"Dad is preparing to move by the end of this year"_

E _"But why?"_

A _"He suffered a major loss recently and his partners suggested he should move to London. He received a decent offer which is more than he could hope for in his current situation. He doesn't really have any other choice"_

A _"I really am so sorry El, will you ever forgive me?"_

When she doesn't reply he hugs her tight for one last time and walks away leaving her all alone to Taylor swift's White horse playing now.

Elle is heartbroken. She barely does anything other than mourn the loss of the most important person of her life and spends her time on autopilot like a machine. When weeks turn into months and months into years her best friend can't take it anymore and drags her out of the house for a girls' night out or threatens to kick her out of their shared apartment.

Jessica _"Come on Elle lets go we're getting late"_

Elle _"I don't want to really, you go ahead and have fun"_

J _"come on, don't be like that, everyone goes through heartaches that's part of life and it's been ages El, ages, let's just have some fun tonight….please…for my sake"_

She gives in. They arrive at the night club and the music is so loud that they can hardly hear each other. Cartoon's On & on is the current song blaring as Jessica grabs Elle hurling her around to the beat of the music. Several more songs follow like Guessing by against the current, Can't help falling in love with you, Cascada's because the night, vertical horizon's he's everything, forever the sickest kids la la lainey, Icona pop's we got the world, Kesha's Tik Tok and many more. Elle let go of everything and decides to enjoy herself for now. She starts to relax just when someone walks over to Jessica and Jessica launches herself at him.

Jessica shouts at the top of her voice to introduce him to Elle _"He's my cousin Max"_

He smiles at Elle and holds out his hand _"Hi, nice to meet you"_

Elle shakes his hand and they just stand there while Landon Austin's stop time plays in the background.

Jessica _"Stop being so awkward and dance already"_ and with that she literally pushes Max at Elle.

He gives her an apologetic smile and shields her from a guy who tries to make a move on her. She smiles at him and they dance to Notions by the ready set. There are way too many guys surrounding them and feeling a bit self conscious Elle moves closer to Max who sensing her unease grabs her and walks over to the other side of the club away from the dance floor.

Max _"I'm sorry but my sister can be a bit crazy sometimes, she should have taken you to a better club, this one has a reputation, well… a bad one"_

She says thank you and then they begin to talk about random things waiting for Jessica to turn up. She finds out that he's a final year medical student at the university. Max notices that she's guarded. He turns out to be a chivalrous guy and tries not to push her too much.

Elle feels really comfortable chatting with him and almost regrets when Jessica interrupts them. This is how all thanks to Jess Elle meets Max. Months later they are celebrating Jess's b'day and Max is there along with quite a lot of people. They take out Jess's age old karaoke studio set to have some fun.

Jess " _So Max if you were to dedicate a song to someone here who would it be and which song would you pick? Pick carefully because you'll have to sing it okay"_

Max _"Well I think that would be Sam hunt's Take your time"_

Jess _"And who's the lucky girl?"_

Max _"I think you know exactly who"_

Elle blushes and tries to act normal. After Max's performance he asks her to go for a walk with him. She knows what's coming and tries to come up with some excuse but he seems adamant. She gives in and follows him out to Jessica shouting best of luck to their retreating backs.

Max _"Elle I really like you"_ when she keeps quiet he continues _"I know about your past Jess told me. I'm sorry I really don't want to impose anything on you and I don't expect you to answer straight away. I would be happy if you would just consider it. Can you do that?"_

When Elle nods timidly he stops and hugs her. Kissing her on her head he walks away and she turns around to head back. Bake Shelton and Gwen Stefani's go ahead and break my heart plays in the background (covered by Kanata and Miyu of course).

Max is so sweet that Elle find it really hard to not like him even though she's still in love with Alex and she'll probably love him for the rest of her life but he had made it clear that he wasn't coming back. Max really does love her. Max falls in love with Elle trying to convince her she could really love him while Justin Timberlake's not a bad thing plays while Elle starts to like him back with Taylor Swift's begin again.

It's been almost 3 years since Elle and Max met and 4 years since Alex left. Max knows how hard Elle is trying to get over Alex. He knows it is hard to forget the person you've been in love with for your entire life and he understands that she'll probably never forget Alex. All Max wants is that Elle try to love him and he'll do the rest. She really does like him even if it is not as strong as her passion for Alex.

They are all out celebrating Elle's 21st b'day in a restaurant. There's just the three of them as it is a private party suggested by Jessica. Max has plans for the evening. He doesn't want to crowd Elle and make her feel self conscious or uncomfortable that is the last thing he needs right now. So in love by Stevie Hoang is playing in the background and they are all waiting for their deserts when Max excuses himself from the table. Elle is patiently waiting for her vanilla ice cream when there's a sudden change in the music.

A short notice precedes the song _'We apologise for the abrupt change but here's a young man who wants to confess his love to the love of his life. He asked us ever so politely if we could play the couple's favourite song so here it goes….best of luck buddy and we wish the happy couple all the happiness'_

Elle looks at Jess who in turn looks smug.

E _"Where's Max?"_

J _"You'll see"_

E _"Don't tell me…."_ That's when Jason Chen's Best friend starts playing and Elle looks up to find Alex standing in front of her. It takes her whole effort to not lose her cool and start punching him.

Alex _"El…happy b'day"_

Elle _"What the hell are you doing here Alex?"_

A _"I came back of course…I tried but I couldn't stay away El. I never got over you. I told dad I don't care what he wants from his life but I know what I want and I want you El…I need you more than I've ever needed anyone"_

E _"It's not that easy Alex. My life is not some drive in you can walk in and out at your own convenience."_

A _"I know that…I never wanted to leave in the first place"_

E _"Then why did you leave"_

A _"I had no other choice El, I had nothing"_

E _"You had me Alex…what else did you need?"_

A _"Just you El with no college, no education and no means to support you, do you really think that would have worked out? You would have walked away"_

E _"Do you really think that?"_

A _"I was trying to be practical El. I just wanted you to be happy I still want you to be happy"_

E _"Well you just walked in the middle of a proposal"_ she turns towards Max.

E _"I am sorry. Don't come after me, I want to be alone"_ and with that she walks out of the restaurant leaving others behind. She wouldn't have lasted another moment anyway that's how much rattled she is by seeing Alex again. She is torn by her own emotions for both of them. She loves Alex but she also loves Max now. She walks out on the street and Colbie caillat's Him or you begin to play.

In the restaurant Jessica, Alex and Max are standing in complete silence all at loss about what to say. Alex turns towards Max.

Alex _"Do you really love her?"_

Max _"Do you?"_

Alex _"Of course I do, what kind of question is that?"_

Max simply stares at him but Alex understands that he too loves Elle and it's possible that she likes him too.

Alex _"Hey if what she said is true then I really am sorry for you although I am grateful I did interrupt at the right time. I didn't know you were about to propose although I don't complain that you couldn't I love her too much to give her away without a fight"_

Max _"I wasn't going to propose her not tonight. I just wanted her to move in with me and I love her too. I won't give up either but I also think we should let her decide and not force anything on her that won't be fair"_

Alex _"All is fair in love and war…"_

Max _"And this is a bit of both"_ he completes the sentence with a smile.

Jessica _"look at you both, you could've been friends you know if the circumstances were any different"_ she is awed by them while the 'rivals' smile at each other.

All Alex wants is to make Elle realize how much he really love her and he obviously have the upper hand since Elle has loved him more than she could love anyone. He feels conceited and ashamed for being so sure but he also knows that Elle means the world to him. If anything it only strengthens his resolve to get her back again. He prepares to make her realise just how much he love her with Backstreet boys back to your heart playing in the background.

Max knows this is a lost cause and he is the third wheel here but he wants to make sure that Elle isn't in love with him at all before letting go of her because if there is even a slight chance that she might favour him over her childhood love he isn't going anywhere while Big time rush's you're not alone playing in the background.

Next few weeks become some of the most confusing and frustrating of Elle's life as she is either stuck with Max or Alex each trying to win her heart. She wants it all to end but she can't let go of either. There are times when she seriously considers running away just to escape the stress all this drama is causing in her life.

It takes an accident for her to really decide who is in her heart. Alex, Jessica and Max were heading over to her house when they meet with an accident. It is pretty serious and when she receives the call she is in bits before she can reach the hospital. She head straight to see Jessica. Thankfully Jessica and Max both are fine. Alex is the one who suffered most of the injuries. He is okay but he'll be in the hospital for some time.

Elle _"I'm sorry I don't want you to think I used you"_

Max _"You didn't use me and I knew you were in love with him. I know I sort of forced you"_

Elle _"You're going to hate me for the rest of your life isn't it?"_

Max _"No not really, I can't hate you I love you too much for that"_

Elle _"Oh Max I…"_ and she moves forward to hug him but he stops her.

Max _"No don't… I don't I can't…it's just that…I can't, it will hurt like hell to watch you go…just be happy okay…I want you to be happy"_

Giving him a sad attempt at smiling Elle walks out of the ward and goes straight to where Alex lay covered in bandages but thankfully safe.

Jessica _"I'm sorry max, I started it all, I really shouldn't have asked you to…"_

Max _"Don't blame yourself sis, you didn't ask me to fall for her that was my decision and mine alone"_ and he closes his eyes as silent tears trickles down his face.

Alex opens his eyes to Elle sitting next to him with his hand in hers.

Alex _"El I'm so sorry to cause you so much trouble. If you really love Max then I promise I'll leave. I'm sorry that I hurt you but I love you too much. You know it's a known fact that we hurt the ones we love the most. I'm sorry I left you all those years ago. Will you ever forgive me for that El?"_ his tears fall down his eyes onto the pillow.

Elle _"Of course I forgive you, you idiot. Don't you ever say you're sorry to love me because I'll turn into a monster if I ever catch you say that again okay. You're excused for now because you clearly are in enough pain already"_

A _"What made you come to me El? If this accident is why you feel obliged to be by my side then please don't…"_

E _"oh shut up Alex, you of all people should know that I might like someone and I might even fall for someone else but I will never love anyone else like I love you. You are my first everything Alex…my everything"_

The curtain falls with the prospect of their sweet reunion and the song Nothing's gonna change my love for you playing in the background. The whole auditorium erupts into a great cacophony of applauds.

All student groups involved in the drama came forward to say thank you in groups. When the band came forward the cheers were the loudest because they had done a great job. Miyu found herself standing next to Kanata who took her hand and they all bowed down to their audience before leaving the stage.

Akira came forward running towards her and hugged her so tight that Miyu had to force her away in order to breathe.

 _"_ _I… can't… breathe"_ she choked.

 _"_ _Oh shut up, you were fantastic out there"_

 _"_ _So were you"_ said Kanata and smiled at Akira. She gave Miyu a questioning glance before turning towards Kanata giving him a sceptical look.

 _"_ _Well thank you and you too sang really well"_

 _"_ _So does that mean I wasn't fantastic like her"_ he asked her. She frowned a little at his out of the blue friendly behaviour before replying.

 _"_ _Well no one can beat Miyu when it comes to music"_

 _"_ _You really adore her don't you"_ he asked her but didn't wait for any reply and walked away but not before inviting them to a celebration party at his house later that evening telling them that they could invite anyone they wanted.

 _"_ _What was that?"_ Akira asked Miyu who shrugged a little but didn't say a word.

Could it be possible for him to like Akira? Occurred a fleeting thought to Miyu but she was overjoyed by the fact that she hadn't messed up on stage and was probably too much in love with Kanata to give that thought any more consideration. The two best friends walked away hand in hand discussing what to wear for the party.

Miyu was used to big houses because Akira's house was big, her father being a senator and mother a lawyer but when they arrived at Kanata's house it completely took her breath away. It wasn't just beautiful but it was a huge like monstrously huge house that put Akira's house to shame. She was a bit apprehensive to enter a house like that without carrying anything. She regretted not bringing any present or a bouquet.

Akira had taken forever to get ready and was smashing it with a sexy black dress whereas Miyu had kept it sweet and simple by wearing white blouse with a sweet maroon coloured skirt pairing it with black stockings and black heels. She clearly felt under dressed when she went inside and found out that nearly every girl in the room was wearing a gown and heavy makeup.

 _"_ _I'm so glad that you were able to come"_ and they turned around to find Kanata walking over to them. He was wearing a white t-shirt with black jeans and white casual shoes but still managed to look glamorous. Miyu couldn't stop herself from staring at him.

 _"_ _So tell me Saionji is your father some famous tycoon or a gangster. This house is just so…"_ said Akira and raised her right hand to thank him.

 _"_ _Uhh… to be honest this manor is not really mine. It belongs to my guardian well my local guardian"_ said Kanata and took her hand in his. To everyone's surprise he kissed the back of her hand. Akira blushed and in order to clear away the embarrassment she cleared her throat and took a dig at his appearance _"You know I have never met someone who looks less like a knight. If I was to guess I would say you look more like kidnapping and roughing it up kinda guy"_

 _"_ _I'm shocked …you see right through me"_ he mocked her and turned towards Miyu who was more interested in ogling Kanata than in his flirtatious exchange with Akira.

 _"_ _Miyu I'm glad you made time to come"_ and he smiled at her inadvertently turning his charm on her while Colbie Caillat's falling for you was playing in the background.

 _"_ _Umm…I ...We're glad to be here. Thank you very much for inviting us"_

 _"_ _Oh please stop being so formal, the show was a huge success and you were a major part of it"_ he said kindly and led them through the foyer into some kind of 19th century ballroom. Everything was so beautiful; the lightings and the fabrics that hung on the windows, all the paintings and the engravings on the pillars. It was like stepping back into time but that was about it because the music blaring in the room was nowhere near that era. Simple plan's freaking me out was way too modern to be called 19th century music.

 _"_ _Waiters…you have fricking waiters…actual people waiting on us. Oh my god who the hell are you some exiled prince from England?"_ commented Akira at the grandeur of the place. She now felt an extremely strong desire to find out his true identity. His enigmatic personality and charm acted like a catalyst to her desire to find out the truth. He shrugged away her question and showed them around offering them various drinks and refreshments while Cash Cash's victim of love was playing.

Kanata waived a hand to call a waiter. Miyu thought she saw him exchange some kind of glance with the waiter but dismissed the thought because there was something far more important on her mind that evening. She was going to confess her feelings for him while the waiter handed her a glass of sprite.

 _"_ _Kanata I wanted to talk to you could you please… "_ just when she was about to ask him to accompany her to somewhere less crowded her hand holding the glass jerked so violently that she spilled the drink down her front.

 _"_ _I'm sorry Miyu, I didn't see your hand…here let me escort you to the bathroom"_ said Kanata.

 _"_ _It's okay…I wanted to talk to you…"_

 _"_ _Sure I'll wait for you here"_ he said and opened the door to the bathroom for her. Miyu walked in the bathroom and tried to clean her dress with water as much as she could. When she was done she got lucky and found a hair dryer lying around. She used it to blow dry her dress as much as she could. Satisfied with her handiwork and taking a deep breath to calm her racing nerves she walked out of the room only to find herself all alone.

Kanata wasn't waiting as he had promised and she felt a pang of sadness in her heart but her mind said don't be stupid Miyu he didn't promise to wait and it is possible that he might have walked out to pick a call.

 _"Yeah that's possible"_ she said out loud and braced with renewed determination set out to look for the host of the party when she heard a long forgotten melody. Straining her ears she realized that M2M's pretty boy was playing. Cheered by the song and considering it a good omen she began to look for Kanata but she couldn't find him.

She bumped into a girl from her year and asked her if she had seen Kanata anywhere.

 _"_ _I think I saw him walk towards those stairs…yes I think he went that way"_ and she pointed towards the first floor. Thanking her Miyu walked over to the first floor thinking about what she would say when she finally sees him. She walked past a few closed doors until she came across one that was ajar. It was not the curiosity to peek in that stopped her in her tracks but what she heard. It was Kanata's voice clear as a summer day. What she head next sent her world spinning around.

 _"_ _I don't know if you noticed but I think I should tell you anyway"_

 _"_ _You're acting strange. What are you talking about and where is Miyu?"_ asked Akira.

 _"_ _I like you Akira I've liked you ever since I walked in that classroom. I was wondering if you would go out with me"_

 _"_ _What are you saying? I thought you liked… "_

Miyu stopped breathing her one hand was resting against the door ready to push it open but she didn't know if she had enough strength to walk in or turn around but the silence from the room was loud enough to tell her to walk away. She turned around and walked back to the hall where the party was in full flow. She felt lost. She didn't know how to react when she noticed the song that was playing. It was Yazoo's only you followed by Troye sivan's fools. She laughed at the songs and the irony of the situation she was in through teary eyes when she heard Akira calling out to her. Akira sounded happy and Miyu owed it to her to be happy for her best friend even if it was killing her. She wiped away the tears and turned around with a big smile on her face.

 _"_ _Hey Miyu where…were you crying?"_

 _"_ _No, I caught cold"_ a lie that was almost plausible since she did sound like she had a head cold.

 _"_ _How can you catch cold all of a sudden?"_ Akira demanded.

 _"_ _I spilled water all over me when I was cleaning my dress so blow dried everything...I think that is the reason why I caught cold so suddenly"_

Akira gave her a calculating look and Miyu reassured her that it was nothing but common cold _"I feel cold I think I should leave"_

 _"_ _You can't leave so soon I have to tell you…"_

 _"_ _I know, I'm sorry I didn't mean to eavesdrop I was only looking for you and I didn't hang around for long, when I realized what was happening I came here…I"_ she stopped talking abruptly when she saw Kanata join them. She hadn't planned on seeing him at least not this soon.

Akira gave her another questing glance before saying _"Miyu I…"_

Miyu hugged her _"I am fine really, today is the best day I've had in so long but I'm tired. I want to go home"_

 _"_ _I'll drive you home"_ provided Kanata.

 _"_ _NO"_ she didn't mean to but it came out a bit harsher than she had intended _"I mean I'll get a cab besides I feel like walking tonight"_

 _"_ _Miyu you can't go like this, you're not well and it's almost dark"_

 _"_ _I don't live that far Akira. I'll get home before it gets dark. Don't worry about me and you should enjoy yourself, don't hold out because of me"_

 _"_ _What is going on… are you leaving Miyu?"_ interrupted Hikari the girl who had played violin.

 _"_ _Yeah…"_

 _"_ _You can't leave. Everyone is looking forward to your performance. They're all hyped Miyu. You have to perform tonight"_

 _"_ _I don't think I can…"_

 _"_ _But everyone is so excited, they'll be disappointed"_

 _"_ _I…"_ she looked at Akira begging to help her out but before Akira could say anything Kanata intervened.

 _"_ _Let her be. She doesn't feel right and I'm taking her home"_ there was such intimidation in his voice that the girl actually took several steps back but his way of phrasing his reply triggered and made Miyu to react against her will.

 _"_ _I think I can perform at least one song"_ she replied fiercely and walked over to the piano wishing she had walked out the moment she had heard that dreaded conversation.

The room grew quiet as Miyu got ready to perform. She was feeling nothing and perhaps that helped her with her anxiety because for the first time she did not feel any dread for being the centre of attention. She sat down and began to sing

 _If I should stay  
I would only be in your way  
So I'll go but I know  
I'll think of you every step of the way_

And I... will always love you,  
I Will always love you

It killed her to watch everyone smiling and waltzing around her dancing to this beautiful song when she was dying inside. She barely managed to not breakdown and run away when she saw Kanata and Akira dancing along with others but Miyu delivered her promise and finished the song. She did not wait for the compliments or the applause and walked straight out into the night all by herself.

 **Upcoming next**

Unable to cope up with the conflicting emotions wreaking havoc within her Miyu finds it extremely difficult to stay happy for a best friend who had always been on her side and she decides to avoid everyone. She stops going to school and stops taking calls especially from Akira until she realizes that it would be impossible to avoid Kanata and Akira if she lived in the same town so she decides to leave. How is that going to affect her relationship with the only person she loves?

 **How was it? Good bad?**

I know I dragged this one for ages and I'm sorry for that. Review and let me know how I can improve.


	5. The big changes

Hi everyone, well hi to those who're for some inexplicable reason still reading this story and have given up on expecting any update...thanks to you all for taking time from your busy life to read this trash :P I've had some extremely busy months (or year you could say) and some serious writer's block to overcome in order to post this. I didn't proof read and I am confident that I've made mistakes, please excuse me for being human. Hope you guys like it, don't forget to review!…I will update for y'all very soon!

 **Chapter 5 The big changes**

As she walked out into the sunlit pavement lined with cherry blossoms all alone she said out loud _"why should I leave though? I mean I don't have to leave. I can just camp out in the garden of his mansion and refuse to move just like Danny O'Donoghue, might even sing the song"._

Then she laughed out loud as she imagined herself in that situation and thought well Danny looked great in the music video but she would probably be whisked off to the police station before she could say not fair.

Well it wasn't her fault that the guy she fell in love with fell for her best friend instead. She internally agreed with Kanata's choice because Akira was the kind of person everybody liked thought Miyu, 'she's beautiful, smart, caring, kind, funny….well she's a complete package and I…I am simply weird.'

Why is fate being so cruel? She looked up towards the heavens and suddenly shouted at the top of her voice

 _"WHAT DID I DO TO PISS YOU OFF? TELL ME! ANSWER ME DAMN IT! Please… please…pl"_ and right there in the middle of the road she broke down crying like never before. She felt like she had been crying for ages without moving and lucky for her not even a single living soul passed her by during this unfortunate episode which was clearly the lowest point of her life. When she could she stood up and walked home safe and sound without attracting any further trouble. The night felt like an eternity long because she couldn't sleep and gave up trying when she saw it was 3:47 AM. She made herself a cup of coffee and went to sit in the balcony admiring the night sky. She looked up into the sky full of stars and found herself staring at the first recognizable constellation Ursa Minor. From there she traced Leo and then stared at the big bright moon. It was a clear night so far but she could feel the distant clouds approaching and feel the cold wind blowing.

She watched moon playing hide and seek with the clouds and wondered if she would be able to watch Venus before the sunrise. The moon looked so beautiful though; partially hidden behind the clouds casting a halo. As she watched the sky grew lighter and lighter all the way from mid night blue to the clear morning sky meanwhile the wind picked up speed. She watched birds trying to fly and for some weird reason found herself comparing the smaller ones with the bigger ones.

 _"Hmm…so the smaller ones flap their wings more often to stay afloat and almost drop down in a comical way the moment they stop and big ones don't need to flap their wings that often. Well isn't it obvious you fool, they are big so they probably have more power and it probably also has something to do with the surface area…what the hell am I going on about…clearly I have officially lost my mind"_ and she laughed at her own weird insight.

She thought she might be the first person to laugh at the idea of going crazy and then laughed some more and then fell silent all of a sudden. As she waited for the sun to rise she witnessed the most amazing site. Although the sky was a clear summer blue and the clouds were approaching from the west meanwhile the sun was rising in the east. The wind blew hard making birds look like they were being blown away. It was a beautiful site because for a few moments it seemed like the sky was split into two; one half was full of black rainy clouds while the other half was crisp and clear as any summer morning. As she watched the clouds took over the mighty sun within minutes and it started to rain heavily but not before Miyu was left wondering at the healing power of watching a sunrise because there is something extremely calming about a sunrise. It fills you with hope and peace even in your darkest times and as she walked back into her room she thought maybe she'll survive this as well.

 _RING RINGG RIIIIIIINGG_

Miyu woke up shouting _"Earthquake!"_ feeling completely disoriented and it took her a while to realize that it was merely the shrill cry of her doorbell and phone ringing simultaneously with a distant hysterical voice shouting her name.

 _"Miyu, open the damn door. Open the bloody door or I'm breaking in. I don't care about societal norms"_

Miyu's mind was racing faster than its processing capacity as she found herself paralysed with anxiety in her bed all the while thinking Oh god it's Akira! What am I going to tell her? I don't have any excuse for yesterday's behaviour. Shit, shit why is she here? Then she looked over to the clock and exclaimed _"I've been asleep for 10 hours straight!"_ It was almost 5 PM. No wonder Akira was threatening to break in. Miyu ran down the hall to get the door before Akira could do any serious damage and was met with a monster that strikingly looked like her best friend but the glare sent chills down her spine. Suddenly she feared for her life and was convinced that Akira was indeed going to kill her.

Akira walked in and took a deep breath before turning around to face Miyu. She was sending death glares at her and her effort to breathe like a normal human was commendable. Miyu was wagering on how long it would take for Akira to start shouting, 5 sec nah too long she is about to…

 _"Where the hell have you been since yesterday, no calls, no texts, didn't come to school…do you have any idea how much worried I was that you…I…I swear to god…just hide all the tools you have in sight or I will do some serious damage that I might regret later on"_

Miyu had no response for that, she merely stood there staring at Akira and wondering what the hell had she done to deserve a friend like the one standing in front of her.

 _"Akira I'm so sorry I didn't call you back. Yesterday was just too much for me to take in, you know with the event and party. It was just too much too sudden. I just wanted to leave as soon as I could. I was tired and then not so surprisingly I didn't sleep till like 5 in the morning. I guess I slept like a rock after that. I'm so sorry, I didn't do it on purpose. You know that I would never do this, not to you. I love you, you're like the sister I never had but I do, I have you"_

 _"Gosh I planned it all you know, I came planning to stay pissed at you for days but you know exactly what to say and when to say. Damn you Kouzuki, I don't know how you do it? Come here you idiot, I love you too"_

Akira hugged her best friend, her anger melting in seconds. The two girls hugged it out for minutes, comforting each other, assuring that nothing could ever stand between them.

 _"By the way, just so you know I'm totally cool with you and Saionji going out"_ said Miyu with a bright smile on her face. If the effort of smiling couldn't kill her at the moment then nothing ever would and she really wanted to be happy for her friend.

 _"Wow, are you really? I mean I thought you had a crush on him and seriously I thought he was into you, you know with that cold demeanour directed especially towards you but helping you all the time despite of that. I thought you guys had that classic I hate you but secretly I'm in love with you kind of thing going on"_

 _"Come on, it's not like he owes me anything and trust me no one in their right mind would ever choose me over you"_

 _"Miyu…"_

 _"No Akira it's true, you're beautiful, smart, and funny whereas I'm simply weird. As if it wasn't enough that I'm plain looking but god had to go a step further and make me hell of a dull person who stammers sometimes"_

 _"Miyu for the love of god listen to me, you're not boring, you are the most beautiful mystery waiting to be solved. Do you know that I envy you because you have such a golden heart? You never shy away from helping others; despite of being a shy and quiet person you go against your natural instinct to help complete strangers. I could never do that and I have such respect for you because you're a wonderful person and that shines in your eyes, you're the most beautiful person I've met, inside and out. Never ever call yourself dull or plain looking ever, okay"_

 _"You say that because I'm your friend"_

 _"I say that because it's true"_

 _"But…"_

 _"Shushh…just leave it, you know you don't stand a chance winning an argument with me"_

 _"Well that is true…want to sleep over, I'll cook your favourite noodles and i think there's coke or sprite in the refrigerator"_

 _"Okay, I'll just let mum know that I took her car, she loves that damn automobile more than she loves me"_

 _"Well…"_

 _"You know it's true"_ said Akira in a threatening tone and Miyu shook her in defeat walking into the kitchen.

Miyu was dreading going to school the next day and woke up way too early in anticipation of facing Kanata when the hurt and pain was so raw. She really didn't want to face him but she had no choice either. She had to face him, in fact she had to sit next to him and watch him being all lovey-dovey with Akira. She was worried she would either break down or break something and embarrass herself in front of everyone for sure. Miyu didn't want the awkward Miyu to take over her life again now that the confident version was trying to stir from a deep slumber.

But it turned out to be surprisingly easy and Miyu realized she had been worrying in vain since Akira and Kanata didn't act like a normal couple at all. If anything they barely looked like they were classmates, she had never known a couple who looked less like one. Kanata never bothered to attend classes like his usual self and Akira hardly ever talked about their dates. Miyu actually wished Akira would talk about her dates with Kanata so that she could experience dating him vicariously, even if it did made her feel pathetic.

Days then weeks went by and with time Akira and Kanata began to make up for the initial lack of PDA at the beginning of their relationship. It turned out that both of them had been somewhat reluctant to be candid about their relationship according to what Akira claimed. Anywhere Miyu went she always somehow ended up being the third wheel and it was pretty tiring to pretend to be happy about something that was killing her one second at a time.

She hated herself to be feeling this way. She really wanted to be happy for Akira but watching Kanata with Akira literally broke Miyu's heart every single time. She didn't know what to do and she had no will left to go on pretending, that's when the perfect opportunity came knocking at her door. A local pop group that played at Smiley's, a local restaurant which was quite popular among the youngsters, was auditioning for a lead vocal.

Miyu thought this as perfect chance to earn some good money which was her biggest concern closely followed by her being irrevocably in love with her best friend's boyfriend. At least there was something she could do about the former. Miyu arranged for everything. As long as she did well on her exams she didn't have to worry about school and could play at the restaurant every evening.

 _"Hey, good morning"_

 _"Morning"_

 _"Congrats on your job, Smiley's is a great place"_

 _"I know and I'm worried I'll screw it, it is a great opportunity and the band is just amazing. They've been making their own music and it's so great. I don't know if I'll fit in"_

 _"Have you forgotten that our musical drama was a huge hit? You were a major reason. You have to start believing in your talent Miyu"_

 _"Okay, I'll try to do my best. Thank you so much, you're the best"_

 _"You'll have at least one familiar face among your admirers tonight"_ and with that Akira blew a kiss at her making Miyu smile.

The whole day passed by in anticipation of the evening and before she knew it Miyu was standing behind the stage with only 5 minutes to go for her performance to start. Her stage fear crept back and her fingers turned into ice, her heart stopped beating it was so slow that she couldn't feel it. Tremors ran down all over her body and she felt as if the whole world was crashing down onto her. She was being suffocated and buried alive when she heard Akira calling for her.

 _"Hey Miyu I just stopped by to say...Miyu what's wrong, honey why are trembling. Oh god, Miyu why? Why now of all times? What should I do?"_ Akira held Miyu in her arms so tight as if her life depended on it.

 _"What's wrong with her? Is she having a fit or something? Should I call for ambulance?"_ asked Kanata. He had been dragged to the cafe by Akira.

 _"No wait, let me just...Miyu honey look at me. Listen, this is probably the most important moment of your life. Everything that you've ever dreamed of, everything that you've desired for will be yours once you walk on to that stage, please listen to me honey, come back to me...focus on my voice, please Miyu, please come back...please...god please don't relapse...not now...you're stronger than this"_

 _"Hey...I'm not dead am I? Stop being so dramatic...I didn't eat anything today so I guess my blood pressure was a bit low...I didn't mean to scare you"_ said Miyu in a weak voice. She wanted to say how thankful she is to have a friend like Akira but words failed her.

 _"I am being dramatic...you scared the living day lights out of me. You looked like you were dead or something and you're calling me dramatic. Miyu Kouzuki you're the worst, don't you ever faint on me like that again...next time just make sure you eat something"_

 _"Okay, thanks for the help"_ Akira pulled her up to her feet.

 _"Here, eat this"_ Kanata said handing her a chocolate bar. Miyu and Akira both looked at him questioningly.

 _"What...fine, I'm a chocolate addict and always carry some around. Lucky that I had it with me today right"_ he said shrugging his shoulders and if Miyu didn't know him better she would think he was a little bit embarrassed.

 _"Thank you, I really appreciate it. Go get your seats, it's almost time"_ said Miyu.

 _"All the best honey"_

 _"Have fun"_

 _"Thanks, I will. Now go, hurry."_

Miyu took long breath trying to compose her thoughts and walked out onto the stage carrying her guitar. She closed her eyes and took a moment to cal herself down. Please god, help me through it. Mom, Dad, Ruu look out for me. She opened her eyes, began to strum her guitar, took a deep breath and began to sing.

 _Sun is filling up the room_

 _And I can hear you dreaming_

 _Do you feel the way I do, right now?_

 _I wish we would just give up_

 _Cause the best part is falling_

 _Calling anything but love_

 _And I will make sure to keep my distance_

 _Say I love you when you're not listening_

 _How long, can we keep this up, up, up?_

She looked around the cafe. Everyone was looking at her and she didn't feel an ounce of terror. As she looked around her eyes landed on Kanata. She couldn't look away when she sang the next paragraph

 _Please don't stand so close to me_

 _I'm having trouble breathing_

 _I'm afraid of what you'll see, right now_

 _I'll give you everything I am_

 _All my broken heartbeats_

 _Until I know you'll understand_

 _And I'll make sure to keep my distance_

 _Say I love you when you're not listening_

 _How long, can we keep this up, up, up?_

 _And I keep waiting_

 _For you to take me_

 _You keep waiting_

 _To save what we had_

 _So I'll make sure to keep my distance_

 _Say I love you when you're not listening_

 _How long can we keep this up, up, up?_

 _Make sure to keep my distance_

 _Say I love you when you're not listening_

 _How long, 'til we call this love, love, love?_

The cafe erupted into a loud applause as the band finished the song. They all walked down the stage towards the counter where one middle aged guy; bald and slightly short man aka Henry the cafe owner/barista stood clapping his hands cheering them along with customers.

 _"That was amazing. Honestly, I wasn't sure if I wanted a bunch of teenagers performing here on a regular basis but after watching you guys tonight I'm sure I want you to be a permanent gig from now on. Here's to more gigs and many more customers, cheers!"_ he said handing down everyone a chocolate shake and later disappeared behind the counter.

 _"Amazing Miyu, it was perfect. You should seriously consider music as profession, you know. You have the talent, who knows you might be the next popular idol"_ said Akira.

 _"One of those people who perform on TV shows and shoots commercials in their free time? I don't think so I'm the right TV material"_ said Miyu with a nervous laughter.

Kanata smiled at her but didn't said anything much. They spent some time in the cafe wandering around just taking then Kanata offered to drop the girls home. Akira's was first then Miyu.

Miyu thanked him before getting off and watched him drive away in silence. She locked the front door and after a long cold relaxing bath she was sitting in front of her laptop going through the emails checking for anything new just like always when her eyes came across the one mail she had been waiting for and had almost given hope of ever getting a reply. She quickly checked skimmed through the mail and re-read it just to make sure she hadn't read anything wrong. Scholarship included hull time tuition and lodging. Please send a affirmative as soon as 31st June coming academic session. In the heat of a sudden passionate moment she had been impulsive enough to submit an email to the most prestigious music school in Europe, Trinity school of music (don't hate me if I'm wrong or right for that matter, please consider for the sake of poor heartbroken Miyu J).

She couldn't believe her eyes. Until a few days ago she thought life couldn't get worse and now she was looking at the prospect of spending 4 years in Italy and learn music from the greatest and the best people in the industry. But leaving for Italy would mean leaving home behind, leaving Akira behind, leaving all that happened behind and most importantly leaving Kanata behind. Noting could ever fill the space the death of her family had created in her heart but as a human she could still fall in love and she had fallen in love (no denying in that) with Kanata. She didn't know if she had enough courage to leave everything behind. She had some time to think, she had 2 whole months to think and come to a decision. She could be in Italy at this time the next year or stay here and what, what she would do if she stayed.

'Guess I could always apply at Tokyo University for majoring in music' she thought. She turned off the lights, opened the window by her bed, and lay down on the bed looking out to the night sky like always. Stars gave her some sort of inexplicable comfort she never really understood. She felt like she belonged more with the moon and the stars than she really did here on earth. She smiled at her own absurd thought and closed her eyes trying to sleep. There was a lot to do if she was serious about attending Trinity.

 **Upcoming next**

It was probably the hardest thing after her family's funeral thought Miyu as she packed and crosschecked everything off the list she needed to board the flight to Italy the next day. She had spent the evening with Akira and it had been bittersweet as they sat down talking about their time together; how they became friends in kindergarten and now here they were, saying goodbye not knowing when they'll meet again. Next morning Miyu opened the door to thinking that the cab was early but found the postman instead. He said the mail box was broken so he thought he would hand the letter personally. She thanked him and closed the door behind her. Rarely anybody wrote letters nowadays and she didn't know of anyone who would write to her when she turned the letter and froze as she stared at the familiar handwriting. It was impossible yet she could unmistakably recognize it was her dad's.

 **Like it? Hate it?**

I know I dragged this one for ages because I'm posting after ages (can't argue with that) and I'm sorry for that. I don't know if I've mentioned this before or not but I absolutely hate unfinished stories, so if anyone is kind enough to be anxious about knowing if I'll ever update again or finish this one then let me assure that I will in my own time maybe but I definitely will, all I ask is just be with me till the end. Also, let me know how I can improve.


	6. The goodbye

Hi guys, I know it's an early update. don't be alarmed, I'm not going on another sabbatical. I just wanted to update. I'll try to update as often as I can. Since I'm sort of lazy so once again I did not bother with proof reading. Please excuse me for my mistakes. Read and review if you like!

 **Chapter 6 The goodbye**

Upcoming exams and her evening gigs kept Miyu on her feet till the very end of her third year of high school. After weeks of rigorous revisions and practices Miyu finally had some time free on her hand. Done with the final exams she had nothing to do but wait for the results and her evening performances to keep her company. Her band played thrice a week at the restaurant, especially during weekends. They were practicing for the upcoming performance the song being Blake Lewis's End of the world which was one of Miyu's personal favourites. Maybe it was her favourite that she felt a strong connection with or the audience just wanted to hear her sing again but when she finished there was an out roar of once more filling the restaurant and she couldn't help smiling.

 _"Alright, give me a minute to think_ " Miyu smiled at the audience and was amazed at the ease at which she was able to do that in front a crowd. If an year ago someone had told her she would be a lead vocalist of an upcoming local band she would have laughed it off but now here she was singing in front of complete strangers and Trinity scholarship in her pocket. She contemplated what to sing next, she thought she could sing something from Korean pop, maybe a Super junior song or perhaps something by VIXX her all time favourite kpop bands but she thought her band mates wouldn't know the backup music and the audience will probably think she was singing gibberish, though Korean is a beautiful language no doubt in that (my disclaimer to those who might feel enraged J). After deciding hard she settled on a song by her another all time favourite artist, Demi lovato's why don't you love me, even if she was only featuring in the song Miyu wouldn't have come across the song if it wasn't for Demi (no offense intended to hot chelle rae's fans J). Miyu decided to go solo on this one and it was just her and her guitar as her backup. She closed her eyes and took long calming breath before starting.

 _See I'm just too scared to tell you the truth  
'Cause my heart it can't take anymore  
Broken and bruised, longing for you  
And I don't know what I'm waiting for_

 _Left on the sidelines  
Stuck at a red light  
Waiting for my time  
So just tell me_

 _Why don't you love me?_ _  
Touch me, tell me I'm your everything  
The air you breathe  
Why don't you love me, baby?  
Open up your heart tonight  
'Cause I could be all that you need, oh  
Why don't you love me?_

She ended the song and the crowd exploded. It was a feeling she had never had as Miyu looked around at happy faces smiling back at her. It was more special since it was white day and she could look at the couples smiling around and holding hands being cute and happy together. It was a great feeling knowing it was her singing that had made people smile even if it was momentary. Miyu looked around and saw Akira was clapping the hardest and to her embarrassment catcalling and whistling like crazy. Miyu smiled brightly at everyone and walked off stage towards her best friend who was beaming at her like a proud mum.

 _"Here, drink this. I ordered an orange juice and a sandwich just the way you like it. I wonder if you ate anything today"_ asked Akira raising an eyebrow in question. Miyu smiled at her sheepishly as she bit into the sandwich and Akira simply shook her head in resignation.

Miyu was dreading the fortnight. It was her birthday next weekend and the day she had decided to tell Akira about her leaving for Italy after her birthday. If Miyu didn't tell Akira soon she would never have the courage to tell her that she was leaving and Akira was bound to notice Miyu's absence.

Miyu had tried her best to avoid telling Akira anything thinking she had enough time and now in a fortnight she was supposed to board the flight that would take her to a completely different world. She had no idea how to approach the subject; the mere thought of separation was so painful she didn't want to think how the real thing would affect her. She knew what was right but she also knew what she needed. The right thing was to focus on her future but what she needed more than anything was someone to hold on to, someone who would keep her grounded. And that someone for Miyu was Akira but Miyu could no longer pretend it didn't hurt spending time with Akira.

Akira, her best friend was her support system but Akira right now had become her source of envy. Miyu was ashamed to admit that despite her unending love for her best friend she couldn't help but despise Akira at the same time. It was too complicated for her and she wanted to put some physical distance between them in order to save their relationship. Akira had not done anything wrong; it wasn't her fault that she had her family and a boyfriend who adored her. Akira didn't deserve Miyu's envy and their relationship was too important for Miyu to let her own feeling come in way. It was better to leave Miyu tried to convince herself once again and resolved to tell Akira about the scholarship the first chance she get.

 _"It's your birthday this Sunday...tell me what do you want"_ asked Akira.

 _"I don't want anything, no really"_ added Miyu when she saw Akira opening her mouth to say something _"I just want us to spend the day together, just like we used to do when we were kids. Remember, we used to pack a picnic and then walk up to that lake hidden in the mountains. It used to be our safe haven"_

 _"But Miyu, you don't turn 18 everyday. It's a onetime kind of thing you know, you'll regret not making it special. Finally you can legally drink and drive, not simultaneously obviously but still you can do that and a lot more things that I can't think of right now"_ countered Akira.

 _"I still don't want to party or some big celebration. I just want to spend the day with the people who matter the most to me and since you're the only one..."_ she stopped abruptly as her throat constricted and she found herself unable to continue. She gave a listless smile to Akira and excused herself, stepping out of the classroom she decided to head straight to the school terrace. Her mind was full of thoughts of her honest feelings regarding birthdays and how it would be her first one after losing her family.

Birthdays had never really been an exciting affair in Miyu's life, she had never felt the excitement she often witnessed others had for their birthdays. To her, birthday meant just another day and another year to her age. She had often wondered what made people so happy about their birthdays and why to her, it was just another day. Miyu pushed the door open and walked the length of terrace stopping at the railings. She leaned on to the railing and peered down the four storey building that was her school. A fleeting thought passed her mind. Jump! And she considered what would happen if she really did. She knew she wouldn't do it. She couldn't do it to Akira or to herself, she was cowardly brave. Miyu came back to her senses to find herself almost leaning down the railing to the point of almost most falling off it. She pulled herself back and stepped away. She thought perhaps it was wise to be inside the class instead of being alone in terrace with only poisonous thoughts to keep her company. She decided it was better to map the terrace with her legs and to keep herself moving instead of standing at one place with her head full of stupid thoughts. Lost in her thoughts she began to walk towards her left and walked straight into someone. Momentarily losing her balance she twirled on the spot trying hard not to fall down when a pair of hands pulled her on her feet firmly. She looked up to say thank you and uncannily enough again it was none other than Kanata Saionji who was staring down at her.

Lost for words she said the first thing that came to her mind _"Hi"_.

 _"Hi"_

There was an awkward silence, it was the first time they were alone together ever since the party at Kanata's mansion.

 _"Nice weather"_

 _"It is nice"_

Uncomfortable silence taking over once again Miyu racked around her mind for something to say, anything that won't make her seem stupid. She realised she had never really thanked Kanata for all the help. By some coincidence he had been there whenever she had needed any help.

 _"Uhh.."_

 _"Listen"_ they both began at the same time. She smiled at him.

 _"Umm...I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me so far. For a stranger you've helped me more than anyone else I can remember."_

 _"You think of me as a stranger"_ it sounded more like an accusation than a question.

 _"Well we're not exactly friends either, are we"_

 _"And why do you think that we're not friends especially when Akira..."_

 _"Exactly that's why...you will eventually break her heart and hurt her. She is the single most important person in my life"_ she added when he raised an eyebrow in question.

He bent down to her level and staring straight into her eyes, he smiled as he asked _"You seem awfully confident that I will, what makes you so sure?"_

 _"I'm not I just think that you don't seem like someone who dates around...I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you"_

 _"and how well do you think you know me to psycho analyze me"_ he began to move forward as he asked her and Miyu tried backing away from him only to find her back hit the wall after a few steps. He placed a hand on the wall trapping her in between as he asked her again with a smirk on his face _"do you really think that you know me?"_

Their faces merely inches away from each other as Miyu stared into his eyes she said _"I know that you're a good person"_.

 _"What.."_ for some reason her compliment wiped the smirk off his face and if anything he looked disturbed, confused even as if he had never been called a good person in his whole life.

 _"I know one thing for sure that you never abandon anyone in need. You're always there whenever somebody needs help. You know how to solve problems. But at the same time you look so isolated, you are the most detached person I have ever met. You care and, at the same time, you don't. You're right, I don't know you"_ she smiled at him. She could've kissed him, she really wanted to but instead she softly pecked him on his left cheek, said thank you, and walked away back to the class.

 _"What is it Miyu? What is it that you want to tell me here instead of at home? Why do we have to go all the way out to our place? We haven't been here in ages, god I had forgotten how beautiful this place is"_ said Akira as she looked around the lake surrounded by trees. They were back in the meadow with the small lake. Miyu always had a feeling that if ever magic could really exist it would exist right here in this place. It was like scenery straight out of some fairy tale book, serene and beautiful. Miyu walked around to find a shady place so she could lay down the picnic they had brought together.

They sat down and in no time were reminiscing about old days. _"Remember when you pushed Kara off the swings, I couldn't believe you would do that especially for a stranger"_

 _"Well I had to, she was bullying you. I couldn't just stand and watch"_

 _"You've always been unusually brave Akira, I admire that about you the most"_

 _"And you've been stuck with me ever since"_

 _"I'm not stuck with you Akira"_ there was sharp edge to her voice when she said that.

 _"Come on, who're we kidding here. You tolerate the worst of me. Whenever I throw a tantrum you always entertain me as if it's your responsibility, as if I'm your responsibility"_

 _"That's the privilege of being a friend, Akira. You're not a burden"_

 _"I sure as hell feel like one, you know with mom and dad..."_ she fell silent without completing her sentence. She knew Miyu would understand what she meant. She didn't have to say it out loud.

 _"Whatever may be their attitude towards each other, you can't say that they don't love you. You can't blame them for trying"_

 _"But I don't want them to try. I would rather they hate me and be happy instead of loving me and being miserable"_

Miyu didn't know what to say to that. Akira's parents were one of the most respected people in the precinct. A successful lawyer and a promising senator, they were a perfect power couple for the rest of the world but there were times when Miyu thought Akira would be better off living somewhere far away from her parents. Their love for Akira was messing her up instead of giving her comfort and Miyu couldn't bear the thought of her best friend hurting every single day, especially when everyone else envied her for having such wonderful family. To others Akira was the child born with a silver spoon, powerful contacts and a promising heir of one of the most successful law firm in the country, but no one knew that the spoon was steel coated in silver.

Miyu couldn't think of any way to approach the reason she had asked Akira to accompany her. She didn't want to further the misery Akira was already feeling.

 _"So, when were you going to tell me about your scholarship huh?"_ asked Akira out of the blue. Miyu could've died of heart attack, she was that shocked. There was no way of Akira knowing, she had not told anyone about it except for the homeroom teacher and Mr. Kei Suzuki who was her point of contact with the police force.

 _"Mum told me, her firm is representing your case, you know that right"_

 _"You don't hate me?"_ asked Miyu in a timid voice.

 _"For trying to make a decent life, yes sure why not, I hate you"_ said Akira with mock fury and scrunched her face. She didn't quite achieve the expression she wanted to project because she was trying hard not to smile, it made her look cute thought Miyu.

 _"I'm so happy Miyu. A full paid scholarship in fucking Europe, excuse my French. I sensed something was up. You were giving me those sidelong glances and I watched you open your mouth to say something and then change your mind far too many times but I was so shocked when I heard it from mum. She thought I already knew, given how you'll be leaving day after tomorrow, but boy was she wrong. She thought I was having some sort of fit or something. I was jumping around in pure euphoria. I had no idea what I was doing, all I remember is the jumping and the shouting cause my throat hurt me a lot later_ " Akira grinned at her as she narrated everything.

 _"I love you. I'm going to miss you"_ Miyu couldn't stop the tears from falling.

 _"Oh honey, I love you too. I'm going to miss you so much."_

They spent most of the day devising about ways of staying connected. Of course they could always rely on Skype and the difference in time zones.

Akira stayed with Miyu for the night and the next day helping her pack, getting her prepped for the big journey ahead. She told Miyu she will meet her at the airport tomorrow and left.

Miyu woke up to a frenzy of feelings, nervous jitters and exciting goose bumps. She got ready and crosschecked she was carrying everything she needed. Akira had promised to mail anything she might forget but yet she just wanted to make she had everything. She double checked that all the lights and switches were turned off. She was going to miss home. Miyu had decided to rent the house and the tenant would move in tomorrow. She had Akira to make sure everything goes well. She was waiting for the cab when the doorbell rang. She thought it was quite early but thought better early than late and walked up to the front door.

 _"You're a bit early but that's...I'm sorry, who are you?"_ she asked when she saw an old man standing in front her with a satchel hanging from his right shoulder. He was holding an envelope in his hand.

 _"Hello, I'm sorry to bother you but I noticed that the letterbox was broken so I thought I would deliver this personally"_ said the old postman.

Miyu thanked him and closed the door behind her. That's odd she thought, who writes letters these days. She turned the envelope around to see the addresser's name when she froze to her place with cold shock. It couldn't be, it's impossible. She knew it was impossible but she would swear her life on it that she was looking at her father's handwriting.

 **Upcoming next**

He looked around to make sure no one was watching, not that it mattered much but still covering your tracks was always a good idea. He climbed up the tree whose branch hanged near enough for him to jump into the balcony. He knew she would have forgotten to lock the door, she always did. He raised his hand and pushed the door open. It was unlocked like always just like he thought it would be. He looked around and saw no signs of any hurry. She had had enough time to leave then why had Miyu disappeared? Why had she not come directly to the airport. He heard the front door open as turned around to get out of here. He couldn't risk being seen in Miyu's house. _"Dad would kill me"_ said Kanata in an undertone as he climbed back to the tree and hurriedly walked across the street.

 **Like it? Hate it?**

How was it? I honestly have no idea what am I writing about but I'll keep writing until I come up with something worth writing. Let me know how I can improve.


End file.
